I can now poke you with pointy sticks within one metre radius

I need to slow down really. You have no idea how many projects I have at hand since I’ve learn knitting. :X Two sweaters, one for nips, one for me. Both less than 10percent done; sitting on the table staring at me. Bah.. And I have to make another cheer-up package for a distraught swapper. I’m quite strained emotionally. I haven’t been doing much of anything. I’ll just give my lazy self a few more days before I start my hardcore crafting again. God I feel like a lifeless nerd. Writing is a kind of craft right? This is a little something I wrote before I broke down and refused to do anything. “Enjoy” the short piece. I’ll be back soon.

Happy Crafting

snipsnip,
Tiff

The fine line between loneliness and solitude

“Wow! That was a great movie!” she chirped as we advanced out of the theatre. “It was good but very forgettable.” I replied thoughtfully. We soon found ourselves on the train back to our respective homes. We had the usual mindless chatter on this short journey home. I can’t seem to recall if we ever had a serious discussion on something that actually matters.

“That’s my stop now. Bye!” was all she said. “Bye…” I echoed. Then it came to me. I ignored it and distracted myself with music. I whipped out my ipod nonchalantly and pumped up the volume. I know it wouldn’t go away no matter what I did, but I did that anyways so my mind would be preoccupied.

The sight of my stop was a relief. I automatically programmed my mind to get dinner and go straight home; much like a robot. I liked that feeling. I liked being robot-like. I liked the feeling of being discipline, the feeling of being in control. So I got food even though I wasn’t hungry, and went straight home. I used to love food a lot. But I have since lost interest in food, as if eating was a phase. I now eat for the sake of eating.

With no recollection of the journey home, I found myself at the door. Home at last. A smile escaped me. I settled down, switched on the telly and started on the cold and slightly soggy food. I didn’t mind cold food at all, not even if they are a little soggy. Perhaps I’m used to eating cold, soggy food that I have come to like it. Just as I had enough, it came; creeping up on me.

Despite the sweltering heat, I shivered. I hoped it would go away. But it didn’t. It drew nearer and it hit me hard. Washed over by the sick feeling, I threw up; emptied my stomach. Slummed over the toilet tiles, I began to cry. It wouldn’t let me go until it gorged my heart out. I finally stopped crying. I hadn’t any energy left. I stood up, robot-like again. I smiled. I knew how to take it from here. Disappearance; it always works. Embrace the solitude.